Have you been in a position wherein you’ve been pushing on a pull door (literally and figuratively)? Funny, isn’t it? We keep on pushing even though there is a clear sign on the door that says “PULL”. In its literal sense, it is funny and even entertaining. But when you dig deeper, it is frustrating. […]
Sometimes, we just want to make sense of all the thoughts inside our heads. Yet, conversations with people aren’t enough and most of the time superficial. So we seek an outlet to let all the words out. We grab our pens and bleed words we badly want to utter. We write until words run out and the only thing that remain is the bleeding. No, not the physical bleeding or the tangible one but the bleeding that flows inside us – the bleeding of hope.
In writing, we can discover a new found hope. A hope that someday, someone can hear us out… can hear the voices inside our minds… can hear the words we want to say but can’t utter. A hope that someday, we can hear our own… we can stop the shouting voices in our minds… and we can finally utter the words we badly want to say.
“Life is short.” I have heard this cliché many times; so many times that I have never imagined that it will hit home and it will hit home hard enough; so many times that I have never imagined that it would be literal as 6 days, 14 hours and 55 minutes of living.
It is already 9 days after my niece died (as of writing), but I still couldn’t comprehend how and why this little baby girl, innocent and full of potential, should suffer and feel the pain even adults couldn’t bear. Why in her young age, she should undergo angioplasty? How her young body could bear all the pain?
Life is very short for this young little girl. She hadn’t seen the world. From the day she was born, she was taken to the heart center for operation. 6 days in the ICU. She didn’t see her mother; her mother didn’t have the chance to hug her. September 21 was her first breath. September 28 was her last.
In times like this, I want to tell every person I meet that life is short; that they should not spend it YOLO-ing but instead make out of most of their time loving and caring for people; that they should not be selfish to flick a cigarette while others are dying from lack of oxygen; that they should learn to value their health; that time is of essence; your time spent more to one thing is a time you spent less to another; that life is too fragile to break it.
Seeing my niece (7 days old) inside the coffin was heart-breaking. It is as if imagining how she suffered greatly, how much pain she endured. I would like to ask God, not to whine, but to have a conversation, just to know His plans, just to know what’s going on in His mind, to be assured that this little angel is safe and sound to His loving arms.
“A man’s days are numbered. You know the number of his months. He cannot live longer than the time You have set. So now look away from him that he may rest, until he has lived the time set for him like a man paid to work.” – Job 14:15
Everyone is replaceable. The time you decided to leave is the time you give a permission for others to replace you. The space you are occupying today, maybe occupied by others tomorrow, someone better than you, equal you or below you. It does not matter anymore. You are replaceable.
When you were young, you dreamed of so many things. Then one day, just like a spark, you realized your ultimate dream, the ultimate dream of dreams. You work hard to attain it, you blabber about it continuously as if telling it to everyone will make a whole lot of difference. You try to flourish it by studying every details of your dream, every dots of it, every lines of it. You believe that everything will be at their right places, for believing is seeing. You work hard, there are sleepless nights, there are more caffeine circulating your body than water. You thought you can be whoever you want to be…
But then, just like the day of realization of dream, there comes the shattering of it. People will tell you that you don’t have what it takes to be who you want to be… because you are too young, or too small, or too big, or too white, or too black… or you will fail hard… and your dream will shatter before your eyes.
Then, you will hate yourself more than that person who’s trying to bring you down. You will hate yourself because you dream the impossible. You will hate yourself because you fail miserably. You will hate yourself because you wasted your time memorizing every aspect of your dream. You will hate yourself for believing that you can make it. You will hate yourself for being too confident with your dream.
Who are you now besides the dreamer you were? Who are you now? Where are you now?
So what if you can’t attain your dream from the conventional? So what if you start from the bottom again? Life is always like that… a starting over. If it does not work out today, why not try it in a different way? Try… fail… try again… and fail again… then try again. You fail today, so what? Maybe the result of your hard work may differ to what you expect. However, maybe, it is the best result it can be, the result you needed to have, the result you truly desire.
People try to bring you down, so what?Don’t be so hard to yourself. People will try their best to discourage you. Or some people will try to keep you inside the box. Let them. Let them just like you let yourself shine from the rest.
Inspired by the movie, Monster University
Your support in my blog is one of the highlights of my 2014. I started to blog for one purpose only, to put my journey to God in the web. Actually, this blog was supposedly a self-serving blog. I just wanted to write. That’s it. Without knowing that many people will take the time to view, read, like and comment. But suprisingly, the numbers of my followers increase.
I don’t know how and why you are continuously following and reading my rumbling and mumbling. Never in my wildest dreams that people will read my opinions and take part of it since I am a silent person. I don’t get to tell people my deepest thoughts because they might laugh or just shrug at my thoughts. But you all make me feel that my opinions are also important, worthy to listen to.
I thank you all for taking time to read my posts. From the grammatically wrong ones to the most deepest thoughts and feelings I wrote. Hoping that on 2015, you will still take time to read this blog. You don’t know how much it means to me.
WordPress community is now a big part of me.
Still… this blog has only one purpose… to serve God in a way I know and love… Writing!
Have a blessed New Year to all of you! Once again, thank you!
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,000 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 33 trips to carry that many people.
Do you believe that humans today are attention deficit? With all the noises, gadgets, and technologies we have today, we fail to truly be part of this world.
Try observing people in a public train. People inside it is with headphones in their ears, listening to music, or browsing their smart phones, or reading books and/or sleeping. Seldom have I observed someone talking to someone inside without looking in their phones just in a second. I will tell you the truth, I am one of them, whenever I am in a public transportation and without company, I am wearing my headphones in my ear and listening to music, and when in a train, I am reading my books or eBooks or Bible. Are we too dependent on our technology that we fail to listen to what really matters?
My 23rd devotional is about hearing God’s voice. This is very hard to reflect on because honestly, who can hear God, audibly? Not me. But as I was pondering, I realized that many times God has spoken to me, through Bible verses, through messages of close people, through the signage in the road, through the billboard at EDSA, through the music I am listening to and/or through my thoughts.
The problems are these: we are too busy on our life, we are too noise prone, we are too into gadgets and technologies, and we are too busy in ourselves. So what’s the problem with that? We fail to hear God.
We can hear God through anything, from our friend’s advice, from the message we got today, from the books we are reading, from the music we are listening, we can hear God through anything. But it is seldom to hear God audibly.
But the truth is it is not impossible that God speaks to us audibly, He did that with Moses and to other guys in the Bible. As long as we are seeking God’s voice and longing to hear Him, nothing is impossible. God is a personal God; He can communicate to us anywhere, anytime.
Here’s the true story of Ru Dela Torre from the book Refuel, in evidence that God speaks audibly:
“On May 28, 2011 moments after capping a three-day camp with a thanksgiving prayer at a prayer mountain. I found myself outside the compound ushering some 700-plus young people on their way to the buses. Because of an afternoon rain pour, the road up to our spot became super slippery…
Not wanting to be caught stuck in the campsite after sundown, we carry our bags and walk some 150 steps down the hill where the buses are parked.
Little did I know that I was being set up again for another encounter with God. When the count was out, I stopped to catch my breath. To my surprise, I found my rubber shoes slopped in the mud. I shook my head and said, “Oh well, so much for my favorite shoes!”
As I said those words, the mud answered, “Yeah! I’m giving you your new pair!”
I shook my head and turned to Dan, one of my disciples, “D’you hear that? The mud said I was going to have a new shoes!
He smiled and stared at me, like I, his pastor, had gone crazy. I smiled back and assured him, “Go’s giving me brand new rubber shoes!”
Fast-forward to when I got home. I checked my email and then my Facebook account. John, another disciple who went to the States for a vacation, told me that he got me a new pair of shoes—the ones which I’ve been praying for—drooling over them in Google—for the past 5 months. Call it coincidence. Refer to it as a chance. But as for me, I choose faith. God orchestrated it all. What the talking mud said came true after all. My experience was a hallelujah moment—not a hallucination. The one who spoke was God…”