Monachopsis


​I am out of place
Out of mind

Out of this world

But I am inside.
Yien010617

———-

Reading the notes in my phone, then I stumbled to this. Well, I can’t quite remember where I was coming from when writing this Monachopsis thing. Maybe I was feeling out of place that time. Maybe I wanted something but things weren’t going as planned. Or maybe just maybe, I wanted to let go of some things in life. Whatever it is, I am quite sure I already get pass that.

Words

unspoken

How loud could silence be?

How a word could mean nothing?

How action speaks louder?

But silence is more deafening?

 

In those pausing and waiting

are lost words,

words that could mean everything

but were left unsaid.

 

Between words and action

are the guessing, thinking

how cowardice takes place?

how courage seems to deplete?

 

In those thinking and guessing,

our life unfolds

a story which never started but ended,

and that’s how this will end.

 

03.05.17


This is how Ed Sheeran music affects me.

She Was Once a Girl

tumblr_miso0z255m1s16dq2o1_500She was once a girl who thought keeping her mouth shut is always the answer.

She was never demanding nor expecting anything in return.

But in her mind, she’s dying and craving.

Yet, “not today,” she said.


She was once a timid girl who thought everything was rainbow.

She had never seen darkness, blackness and oblivion.

But one day, all the colors she had known vanished

Thus, dullness is the only color she holds.


She knows silence is mightier than any words but her mouth opens when needed to.

Dullness is the reality but making color is what she intended to do.

That timid girl is a big girl now.

That girl is me…

trying to brave the world ahead.


Julienne

08.03.16

Unsung Song

Write down your fears and be alive.

Take my hand, together let’s fly:

To the moon and back,

To the sun and back,

To the greatest adventure of your life.

 

Paint me black and blue and red.

All the colors in your hand:

As white as snow;

As pretty as pink;

Together we’ll color the world.

 

Worry no more

Sorry no more

We’ll create a life within your home.

 

Write down your dreams,

Color it red.

Let your dreams be alive and fly like a bird:

To a world full of beauty,

A world full of joy.

Let your heart be filled with symphony and tone.

Julienne


This is supposed to be a song. But because I don’t have a good voice and I don’t have the guts to post the sound recording I made last Wednesday, it will stay an unsung song until the end of time.

Sesquipedalian

Can we go back to simpler times
When our hearts go fonder to simpler things;
When we smile simply by looking at the sky;
When we walk to the same ground;
When words are just words but action speaks louder;
When we only see what’s ahead not what’s behind?

Tell me, can we go back to those times:
When life itself is worth more than pictures;
When laughter is as contagious;
When eyes sparkle to the sound of a bell;
When we distinguish good and sweet smell?

Can we go back to the times;
When daffodils grow more than buildings;
When raining means bathing;
When hurting means learning;
and kneeling means praying?

Tell me now, can we go back…
When all these simpler things seem out-of-reach;
When we realize we’re no longer a child full of dreams;
No kiss, no bliss, but dreams in a grease?
Can we still go back? Can we?

062616

image

 

 

 


ses·qui·pe·da·li·an

ˌseskwəpəˈdālyən/
adjective

formal
adjective: sesquipedalian
  1. (of a word) polysyllabic; long.
    “sesquipedalian surnames”
    1. characterized by long words; long-winded.
      “the sesquipedalian prose of scientific journals”

Wrong Chair

He is sitting on the wrong chair.

He tells me he doesn’t care.

His eyes has too much flare,

What’s in his mind? I can’t stare!

His face doubled

Looking at him, I become feebled

Who is the man I am seeing?

What is he feeling?

Blank eyes with no emotion at all,

White lips with no blood to flow,

Potruding cheeks which escape the fall,

Bushes of eyebrows in stall.

This man becomes a stranger,

Nothing is familiar after.

He sat on that chair with no anger.

He was once a fighter but now shattered.


Yien 05.13.15

The Ugly Side of Love


Love can blind you

It can bid goodbye to your true self.

Love can tangle you

in a forbidden chain of endearment.

 

Love is a spell

of the wounded heart

It is the magic of human

to let you drown to others.

 

Love may be the universal language of people,

yet it is the language of the broken souls.

Instead of finding it Up,

it resolves to look down.

 

(07-07-14)


 

Battles

The truth is there are battles inside me
A war no one knows,
between sanity and insanity,
values and conformity,
compliance and truly living,
from morning to evening.
These are the things I am fighing inside.
I never wantd to show up,
I never wanted to rise.
The bondage has chained me
to the walls of insanity.
When will I be free?
And when will conformity unchain me?

-written on May 22, 2014

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