Today marks my 5th year in the corporate world. Every year, I make sure to blog about my experiences and feelings about my stay in this world I have never imagined myself to be this very long.
Being here in this particular job is a love-hate relationship. It is like I am extending and flexing myself to be someone I am not. And yet, I am here because of the simple fact that I know God wants me here, right at this place, right at this moment.
There are lot of times I wanted to give up and just leave this competitive corporate world. There are lot of times that this job made me anxious and left me self-pitying to the point I am at the verge of giving in to depression. But why I am still here, if this is the case?
What I learned about this life is even though you’ve been in this black hole of self-pity, anxiety and depressing thoughts, you need to show up and push through. Not letting the black holes to pull you and eat you alive.
Showing up is hard. Pushing through is hard. Most especially, when you are in a love-hate relationship with the job you have right now. But showing up can do wonders. Pushing through even though you don’t want to can also do wonders.
I realized that in life, even if you feel withdrawing yourself from the world; even if you feel like giving up; even if you feel not being good enough… showing up makes a whole lot of difference.
So, I am here. I am still here. I am still breathing the air of competitiveness, still learning about adult life, still thriving to push and still testing the boundaries.
Right now, I am just enjoying the process. I am enjoying the learning. I am enjoying the experiences I may gain in this world. For now, I am here and I am not giving up.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”- 1 Peter 5:7