Words

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How loud could silence be?

How a word could mean nothing?

How action speaks louder?

But silence is more deafening?

 

In those pausing and waiting

are lost words,

words that could mean everything

but were left unsaid.

 

Between words and action

are the guessing, thinking

how cowardice takes place?

how courage seems to deplete?

 

In those thinking and guessing,

our life unfolds

a story which never started but ended,

and that’s how this will end.

 

03.05.17


This is how Ed Sheeran music affects me.

Sunday Currently | 01

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This is my first time to do some entry tag called the Sunday Currently. So how should I start this? Uhmmm… clueless (I am forever clueless!) Should I tell you about the past week? Or should I tell you about my life? To be honest, nothing spectacular happened… sooooooooooooo….. and yes my life is rather uninteresting.

Without further ado, here it is:

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Reading

…Just finished reading Who Would Have Thought by Acel Bisa Van Ommen, such a good book! Right now, I am still pondering what to read next.

For my Bible Reading, I am reading Exodus and John. 🙂

Writing

Obviously, I am writing my first ever Sunday Currently, while writing my Thursday entry which is a prose and poetry about words. Check it out on Thursday at exactly 12:30PM Philippine time.

Listening

to my playlist. While writing this, I am listening to Honeymoon Avenue by Ariana Grande (my playlist is in shuffle mode, okay?). But recently, I am listening to mostly Indie music, Ed Sheeran, Paramore, Switchfoot, La La Land Soundtrack and Lea Salonga. My favorite right now is…. who am I kidding, I can’t choose!

Watching

Right at this moment, nothing. But earlier, I was watching random videos in Facebook and Youtube. While writing this, I can’t remember what videos I’ve watched.

Thinking

Uhmmm…. I am thinking too many things right now. If you knew me very well, you will know that my brain never gets idle. Currently, thinking about Paramore, Ed Sheeran, what to write next, Switchfoot, the Bible, arts and many more and oh, FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Smelling

This is weird. I am currently smelling something is cooking! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Wishing

upon the star that I will not be a stubborn child of God. Defying God is really tiring and wearying.

Wearing

red sleeveless and shorts.

Hoping

to eat as soon as possible. I’m HUNGRY because it is already lunch time and I haven’t eaten breakfast yet… coz…. lettering and Ed Sheeran!

And to get back to journaling. Lately, I’ve been too sluggish to creatively write in my journal. And to also get back to writing sensible topics. Procrastination!

Loving

Ed Sheeran’s new album, Divide! He knows how to make my heart melt everytime! And the fact that in every song there is some growling. Awwwwwww….

And loving the fact that it is Sunday and I could do whatever I want (which is most likely reading, writing, lettering and sleeping).

Needing

some food!

Feeling

I don’t know how to feel right now. My heart seems to be in a roller coaster ride yesterday because of some music I am listening to and some thoughts that in the first place I shouldn’t be thinking.

Right now, my superficial feeling says I am happy since I read a book and finished it after an almost a month of reading hiatus. Also, I’ve been experimenting with my lettering. And I’ve been praying a lot lately and some prayers have been answered. So… generally I am happy.

I just remembered, I tweeted yesterday about “feeling happy,” it says:

“I think I am so accustomed with sadness that happiness seems like a foreign idea to me.”

Should I further explain it?


So how’s your Sunday? Or weekend? Is it productive? If not, no worries, sometimes we need to be still to know what is important.

See you next Sunday for the Sunday Currently feature.

 

 

The Takeaways: The War, The Surrender and Everything in Between

What if your life is crumbling down before your eyes? What if all you know is starting to look like a lie? What if being in control brings more trouble than surrendering?

Finally, I’m done reading War Room. It’s been 3 months since I’ve started opening it and tried to read. But unfortunately, haven’t read it continuously because I’m too busy reading other books.

Only this February, I picked it up again from my bookshelf and read it. And this time, with the intention of finishing. And boom… this book hits home… and it hits home hard enough to make me fall on my knees and surrender.


WAR ROOM TAKEAWAYS:

  • You cannot win a battle on your own.

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  • There is no sense on fighting a battle that has been already won by God.

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  • Praying is not a matter of God granting a wish, but it is more of aligning your heart desires to His plan.
  • Stop taking control. Stop doing it on your own. Let Him do driving.
  • So much God can do to your life, allow Him to work with your heart.

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  • Praying is the best battle plan to defeat the enemy.

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  • Trust God.
  • Praying for other people is liberating.

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to be continued…

Hawak

unspoken

Pagod na pagod na akong lumaban.

Pagod na pagod na akong hawakan, ang mga pangarap na tila ba’y wala namang patutunguhan.

Pagod na akong tahakin ang landas na hindi ko alam ang pupuntahan.

Ligtas pa ba kung sasabihin kong, ayoko na, tigil na?

Sa ganitong panahon, napapagtanto ko kung gaano kahirap na kapitan ang mga bagay na mawawala rin pala.

Sa ganitong panahon, nararamdaman ko na hindi ko pala kayang mag-isa.

Dahil sa ganitong panahon, na akala ko’y kaya ko ng bumitaw, ‘yon pala’y hawak Mo pa rin ang aking mga kamay.

Ang aking mga kamay, nanginginig, napapagod.

Napapagod na sa pagsusulat ng mga bagay, mga plano… na sa huli pala ay parang bulang mawawala.

Nanginginig sa takot kung tama pa ba ito, nanginginig sa pagod, sa paglaban, sa pagpapatuloy ng mga bagay na hindi pala para sa’kin.

Ito na ang katapusan,

Tatapusin ko na.

Ang paglaban sa isang digmaan na pinanalunan Mo na.

Ito na ang katapusan,

Tatapusin ko na.

At ngayon ikaw naman uli ang mag-uumpisa.

Umpisahan Mong baguhin ang puso ko, buuin, pagtibayin, palambutin.

Umpisahan Mong gawin ang nararapat.

Tapos na ako.

Ikaw na uli ang may hawak sa buhay ko.

02.18.17

Why does it is easy for us to assume the worst in a person?

Why does it is easy for us to assume the worst in a person?

Psychologically speaking, humans are naturally negative thinkers. Social psychologists say our mind is built to look for negative information. We tend to see the glass half empty.

It is also true on how we deal with other people. We assume the worst in a person, most especially the first time they disappointed us. One single moment of disappointment and it get stuck in our minds for a long time. Then, we generalize people. We tend to see everyone also disappointing us. The cycle goes on; we meet other people, only to end up thinking about their negative traits or their worst parts or their bad habits. In the end, we are unconsciously building a nation of hate towards people.

However, staying this way is a choice. We can either be comfortable with the negativity but we can also choose to start the positive. However, staying positive is an effort, a conscious effort; because as I’ve said earlier, our minds our wired to see the negatives of this world.

What if next time, even though people close to us keep on failing us, we choose to look for their best qualities? What if next time, before assuming the worst in a person, we see them as a human being, prone to faulty decision and screwed up life, yet, still has caring and humane heart? What if next time, we see the glass half-empty, instead of dwelling on its emptiness, we get a pitcher of water and fill it up, so that it may be full again?

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Book of the Month: Found by Isa Garcia

“This is a story about love, adventure and friendship with a heroine who dares to disturb the universe because she can rest in the certainty that she will always be… FOUND” – Found, Isa Garcia

Before I start, I wanted to tell all of you that this month I am fully fulfilled as a book nerd.  I did not expect to read 5 books on January. One Yey for me.

With these five books, I can’t choose which book will be the Book of the Month. There you have Regret No More by Nelson Dy in which I  learned so much from it; Skulduggery Pleasant The Faceless Ones by Derek Landy which I did not expect it will be good and of course the cliffhanger; Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, my first YA of the year, which is unexpectedly good also; Of Mice and Men by John Steinback which is as usual can rip my heart into a million pieces, and; Found by Isa Garcia.

But because Found is too beautiful both its aesthetics and context, I will choose it as January’s Book of the Month.

Have you ever felt that seemingly in this world full of people, no one can get you? No one can feel you? I, sometimes, feel that way. I thought no one is feeling and thinking the way I do. I thought I am alone in this. But then, there is this book that speaks whatever my mouth cannot utter, my mind cannot put into precise context and that’s Found by Isa Garcia. And I am grateful to read this.

Found is a collection of letters on love, life and God. I love the letters inside plus the postcards.

So, as a whole, Found is an easy read and inspiring book. If you are a girl who is lost or who finds it hard to get along with life… this book is for you.

What Does It Take to Start Over Again

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Do we need a certain amount of courage to establish ourselves to move on? Or do we need just a little and start from there? Do we need to fully trust our vision? Or to trust it partly and wait for signs that what we are doing is right? Do we need to achieve a level of faith? Or a small faith would do?

“No, you cannot quit…” “No you cannot start over again because you only have one life, don’t waste it…” Books, movies, songs told me that. “Stay where you are, make that happen, you cannot reroute and start over again, you have wasted so much time…” And sometimes, I also hear my brain giving this pep talk to myself.

All our life, we are taught not to give up, to continue even how painful it is to continue. Because giving up is only for the weak, the coward and the light-hearted. No, we cannot give up because we only have one life to live, wasting time is not an option. If you have invested so much time on something, you should continue it even though your mind is telling you otherwise. Just because, you call yourself courageous.

But real courage lies in knowing the right thing to do; walking in faith without foreseeing the future; believing not on yourself but on Someone bigger than you; knowing that Someone bigger than you gives millions of chances, that it is okay to give up and start over again even how much you invested on that one thing you are not giving up on.

It is okay not to pursue your graduate course. It is okay not to finish a sentence. It is okay not to hold on to people that hurts you even though you love them so much. It is okay to let go of your plans that are not working out even how much you invested your time on it. It is okay to let go of your lifelong dream. It is okay to lose grip on what you are supposed to be doing. It is okay to give up. But also in giving up is a chance to start over again. It is okay to start over again; to pursue what God’s want you to do, to hold on to your life, to walk in faith with Him. You can start over and over again.

Yes, we only have on life and we should not waste it. Do you want to spend your one life continuing what you thought you want knowing that God has given you so much more?

So what does it take to start over again?

No it is not about huge amount of courage. It is more of one pinch of courage and whole lot of God.

Starting Over Again

*Disclaimer: the following thoughts are not cohesively written.  So please bear with me.

Slipping away. I have slipped away. Feeling guilty of how I became too comfortable with silence; how no voice can penetrate my self-loathe; how I see life as black-and-white.

The past months have been a great struggle, looking for other ways to make my life purposeful, forgetting that my life, our life is in purpose when we are walking to the Light, not from it.

One morning, I wake up from a boiling water… where I am? How did my life turn this way? From His silence (or  more of my deaf ears), I heard Him (more of I read it but that’s the same in a sense). I heard Him say “START AGAIN.” And I am dumbfounded, not because I am shocked by the revelation but more of I am now beginning to understand what He is trying to say all along.

START AGAIN

Remember Paul? Before being Paul, he was Saul, killing Christians, or those who dare to follow the path of Jesus Christ. But then, Paul was renewed and started to believe in Jesus.
God gave Paul the chance to start again a new life with Him. And the story of Paul, along with the many stories in the Bible, is a proof that our God is the God of second chances (third/millionth).

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He wants me to start again. He never gives up on me (because If I were Him I would be giving up on me now). He has given me another chance after chance to see His unfailing love. He never gets tired in making me understand that He is the God of second chances that even though I slipped away again and again, he will never let my hand lose its grip, because in the first place, His hands are the ones holding me tight.


My thoughts have been incoherent these past few months, but I hope you get what I am trying to say. I am just amazed by His unfailing love. So amazed that I wanted it to share to the whole wide world but I seem to fail on delineating it cohesively.

-Yien-

The Year of Realizing Things

Hello there! Before I start this long mumbling and rumbling about the year that is about to end, let me just share to you this:

FREE PRINTABLE 2017 CALENDAR

Get your copy now by clicking the image right after this sentence:

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Who don’t want free stuff? Get yours now!


So going back…………

2016 has been a very challenging year, not only in personal aspect but most likely, to any level and aspect imaginable by human mind.

I started this year in high hopes, listing down faith goals which I wanted to accomplish this year. There you have health goals, writing gigs, new house, camera, attend Church service, salvation of people close to my heart, art opportunities, Psychometrician board exam goals, and to grow spiritually. However, the problem with these goals is not that it is unattainable, but, I don’t have the faintest idea where to start. It is as if, I wanted an apple fall down in my lap in an instant without putting an effort in getting it. As we all know, that is not the case about life.

We need to do something, in order to get what we want.

And also, there you have the external and internal battles I need to brave, those uncontrollable happenings, those roadblocks, those feelings of insecurities and doubts.

Yet, there are those things that I have accomplished that are not part of my conceived plan. And that pal, is the most wonderful thing about this year.

As Spotify put it, this year has been the year of realizing things.

HIGHLIGHTS OF 2016

  1. Discovered the art of lettering.

Going back to February 14 of this year, I feel down about my art skills. I know I am not that good at arts. I mean, I am decent in terms of sketching and drawing but not that outstandingly great. So my frustration grew, I promised to myself to never again choose to believe that I will be great in arts. I bid goodbye to my first love.

But March 3 of this year, my friend introduced me to this art called lettering. And because of my love of arts, I cannot help but to fall in love to this new kind of art. And that my friend, is the short-lived break-up of me and arts. And now, my love for arts grew more than before.

  1. Rekindled my love for crafts.

You see, I love crafts, I still remember my late night project-making when I was in High School designing my notebooks and take home projects. But of course, college came and I don’t have any choice but to bury the crafter in me and raise the technical person in me.

But then, because of the rise of handcrafted stuff today, I joined the bandwagon (even though I hate bandwagon) and voila, the creative in me dances in the tune of crafts.

  1. Founded Your ArtsyCraftsy Companion

So here, due to my love-hate relationship with my day job, I came to believe that I should better get a side-hustle. With the help of my hobby of scrolling down Facebook, I stumbled upon the life-changing blog of all times, Arriane Serafico’s blog. There you have those posts about productivity, creativity, braving the freelance world, brainstorming side-hustles and FREE COURSES!!! Her blog inspired me to be passionately involved on being creative in a world full of monochromatic.

So I took a brave step forward, I ask people close to me if it is okay to be a support group with my ArtsyCraftsy idea. And not to my surprise, they said yes. And that is the beginning of Your ArtsyCraftsy Companion. (Shout out to Angel, Jed and Monique!).

Right now, I had my first paying client, she ordered 13 personalized notebooks, as in I did everything from scratch. The experience is humbling and as well as invigorating. More art projects to come.

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  1. Finally I gained weight!

Yes, I gained weight! I know most of you will cringe if you find out that you gained weight, but not for me. I am delighted to gain 2 extra kilograms. As all the people who knew me, I am a thin 25-year old lady, underweight it is. My metabolism is so fast. And I am tired of hearing people telling me to eat more because seriously, I eat more than you can imagine me eating. Follow me on my journey to 50 kilograms (no pun intended).

  1. The Purposeful Personal Branding

Earlier, I told you how Arriane Serafico’s blog helped me on my way to being a productive creative. She helped me a lot (which reminds me to email her about how she changed my life). Right now, I am undergoing a paid course of hers, The Purposeful Personal Branding. This course helped me in understanding myself and my journey to being creative. It helped me to understand my brand, my niche, my strengths, what works and not work.

And thanks to this course, number 3 would not be possible if it wasn’t for this.

  1. Lastly (I know I have more highlights than this, but as of writing I have 792 words now so better cut it short), NEW HOUSE!

So if you are a reader of my blog from the start, you will know that one of my faith goals as I started blogging is to have a new home. And this faith goal is 4 years in the making. At first, I thought God forget my prayer or He just doesn’t like my family to move away from our past house, but I stand corrected. Everything is in His season. Everything is in His plans.

Hey self! Please don’t doubt again the power of God’s faithfulness to His beloved.


So there are good (or even best) things happened this year that is not part of MY PLAN. But who cares about my plan. God is faithful!

However, of course, we shouldn’t expect a year full of rainbows because there are always rains and that is okay.

LOWLIGHTS OF 2016

  1. Mom had an accident.

Remember what I said earlier, those uncontrollable situations, so here is one of a good example of that. My mom had an accident but she is okay now, alive and kicking.

This is one of those moments of rain I am talking about. That time when my mom had been injured because of the accident was the moment I am rekindling my *art skills.* But that season was not the time to be selfish about my time.

  1. My first ever niece died.

I didn’t understand the feeling of mourning but now I did. It was fast. One day she was born and the next day she’s grasping for dear life and a week after she died.

To tell you honestly, this was the moment I stopped reading the Bible and hearing all those repetitive clichés about God. For me, he must have been deaf that time. But again, I don’t know what to do without Him. So I don’t have any choice but to trust in Him because who can I trust in this fleeting world?

  1. Budgeting

I somewhat started of this year having a budget in mind, but because of those uncontrollable things that had happened this year, I begin to drift away.

  1. Procrastination

Haha. This is controllable but sometimes all I wanted is to sleep or look at the ceiling for hours. Procrastination leads me to less books read this year, didn’t finish daily devotional, not having to read the Bible for weeks, less socializing (which I badly needed at this point of my life). I could be angry at Facebook because it is the cause of all my procrastination but as I always say…

we are our choices.

Yet, all these lowlights bring me a lesson to be learned. I am glad for these lowlights, for if it didn’t happen, I would not see another aspect of human lives and faith.

This year I learned that….

To see beauty, you must create it.

To be happy, you must create it.

To have what you want, you must at least try to get it.

Faith without action is not faith at all.

To believe is to see.

Trusting the process is painful but worth it.

Being grateful is the way to purposeful life.

We should not be afraid to start over again, because by starting over you will learn the value of what you are doing.

Our day job will not satisfy our inner being, it is more of what we do outside of work can fulfill our hungry souls. Do side-hustles. Be passionately in love with your goals.

At the end of these all, when we fail or succeed… make sure that what you are doing translates to God’s unfailing love.


Happy Holidays to all!

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2016 Year in Books

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Starting 2016, I am in the hunt for new books to love. One of my goals is to read more. However, life seems to ignore the fact that I have 35 books to read this year. There you have some uncontrollable circumstances that hindered me to read more. Or that halfhearted weekends when I want to read but I also want to practice my new found hobby: lettering. Or those times I ended up scrolling my phone for  the latest news/gossip in Facebook/Twitter/Instagram.

This year I have only read 31 books. Unlike last year where I read 34 books or the year prior last year, 37 books. To be honest it frustrates me because why on earth I only read 31 books this year? WHY???

And aside from reading less what I’ve expected, only quite few books that resonates me (in no particular order):

 

The Last Apache Girl (paperback) by Jim Fergus

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“Yet only the atrocities of the conquered are referred to as criminal acts; those of the conqueror are justified as necessary, heroic, and even worse, as the fulfillment of God’s will.”
Jim Fergus, The Wild Girl

When Breathe Becomes Air (ebook) by Paul Kalanithi

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“That message is simple: When you come to one of the many moments in life when you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing.”
Paul Kalanithi, When Breath Becomes Air

Hollow City (ebook) by Ransom Riggs

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“I liked this idea: that peculiarness wasn’t a deficiency, but an abundance; that it wasn’t we who lacked something normals had, but they who lacked peculiarness. That we were more, not less.”
Ransom Riggs, Hollow City

The Little White Horse (paperback) by Elizabeth Goudge

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“Nothing is ever finished and done with in this world. You may think a seed was finished and done with when it falls like a dead thing into the earth; but when it puts forth leaves and flowers next spring you see your mistake.”
Elizabeth Goudge, The Little White Horse

The Hidden Oracle (ebook) by Rick Riordan

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“Not all monsters were three-ton reptiles with poisonous breath. Many wore human faces.”
Rick Riordan, The Hidden Oracle

And Again (ebook) by Jessica Chiarella

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The Throne of Fire (ebook) by Rick Riordan

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“The right choice is hardly ever the easy choice.”
Rick Riordan, The Throne of Fire

The Sun is Also a Star (paperback) by Nicola Yoon

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“How can you trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins?”
Nicola Yoon, The Sun is Also a Star

Other books are just okay, not astounding enough for it to resonate.

So here’s the summary of my 2016 Books

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