Why Do We Write?

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Sometimes, we just want to make sense of all the thoughts inside our heads. Yet, conversations with people aren’t enough and most of the time superficial. So we seek an outlet to let all the words out. We grab our pens and bleed words we badly want to utter. We write until words run out and the only thing that remain is the bleeding. No, not the physical bleeding or the tangible one but the bleeding that flows inside us – the bleeding of hope.

In writing, we can discover a new found hope. A hope that someday, someone can hear us out… can hear the voices inside our minds… can hear the words we want to say but can’t utter. A hope that someday, we can hear our own… we can stop the shouting voices in our minds… and we can finally utter the words we badly want to say.

Yien041817

Lost

 

unspokenHave you ever feel lost?

Like a fool looking for answers,

Looking for something to hold on to,

Looking for signs, little hope to go on.

Ten thousand days, ten thousand weeks,

Ten thousand months, ten thousand years.

Yet the ears are fixed to the only familiar sound,

The sound of the only thing that is keeping me alive.

Wondering, wandering…

Feeling, seeing…

Believing, trusting…

Should I still go on?

Or is this the right time to let go?


Yien 040317

  • Hugot sa na-corrupt na SD card.

Words

unspoken

How loud could silence be?

How a word could mean nothing?

How action speaks louder?

But silence is more deafening?

 

In those pausing and waiting

are lost words,

words that could mean everything

but were left unsaid.

 

Between words and action

are the guessing, thinking

how cowardice takes place?

how courage seems to deplete?

 

In those thinking and guessing,

our life unfolds

a story which never started but ended,

and that’s how this will end.

 

03.05.17


This is how Ed Sheeran music affects me.

Hawak

unspoken

Pagod na pagod na akong lumaban.

Pagod na pagod na akong hawakan, ang mga pangarap na tila ba’y wala namang patutunguhan.

Pagod na akong tahakin ang landas na hindi ko alam ang pupuntahan.

Ligtas pa ba kung sasabihin kong, ayoko na, tigil na?

Sa ganitong panahon, napapagtanto ko kung gaano kahirap na kapitan ang mga bagay na mawawala rin pala.

Sa ganitong panahon, nararamdaman ko na hindi ko pala kayang mag-isa.

Dahil sa ganitong panahon, na akala ko’y kaya ko ng bumitaw, ‘yon pala’y hawak Mo pa rin ang aking mga kamay.

Ang aking mga kamay, nanginginig, napapagod.

Napapagod na sa pagsusulat ng mga bagay, mga plano… na sa huli pala ay parang bulang mawawala.

Nanginginig sa takot kung tama pa ba ito, nanginginig sa pagod, sa paglaban, sa pagpapatuloy ng mga bagay na hindi pala para sa’kin.

Ito na ang katapusan,

Tatapusin ko na.

Ang paglaban sa isang digmaan na pinanalunan Mo na.

Ito na ang katapusan,

Tatapusin ko na.

At ngayon ikaw naman uli ang mag-uumpisa.

Umpisahan Mong baguhin ang puso ko, buuin, pagtibayin, palambutin.

Umpisahan Mong gawin ang nararapat.

Tapos na ako.

Ikaw na uli ang may hawak sa buhay ko.

02.18.17

Creation + Passion + New Project

“Creativity is intelligence having fun” –  Albert Einstein

Maybe, I get God on why He chose to create this world.

Creating something out of nothing is fulfilling. And it is more fulfilling to know that the thing you create serves as an inspiration and gives you a purpose.

One of my many passions is creating something out of nothing — putting it into 3 letters — DIY. I love creating stuff. Creating an ordinary item into an extraordinary one. Recycling unusable items into a usable one. I love generating and implementing ideas. I love how simple ideas come to life. I love the idea that on a simple thing you do, you make the world a better and pretty place.

And to my surprise, many are just like me. Maybe doing DIY is more cost-efficient or maybe it becomes a hobby. But what I am sure of is making art is purposeful and fulfilling.

In these, I am inspired to work on a new project involving arts. And now, I am inviting all creatives to answer this brief survey, actually it is more of knowing your story as an (frustrated) artist/creative.

 

Fear of the Future

Sometimes when you thought you know everything, that’s when life slaps you in the face and remind you, you don’t know anything at all.

Your eyes are set to higher goals, to a lifelong dream you have been holding on to your heart since you were young. And now, you step out in the world where reality is not as friendly as you thought it would be.

This week marks my 4 years in the corporate world. As I always say, I have never thought to be here for long. In fact, being here is a love-hate relationship. There are times when I feel I do not deserve anything like this. And there are those moments when self-entitlement struck me. And I hate what this world makes me feel: self-pity, unjust confidence, talentless, self-entitlement, unworthy, hatred, out-of-place, and most of all fear… fear of what the future will bring.

Okay before you stop reading because of all these rants, let me tell you this: In all these crazy and unsolicited self-pity, there’s joy… there is always joy in everything. Life, even how hard it may seem, always makes me realize there is good in every circumstances. The corporate world taught me to be strong, to face the giants of this world, to interact with different kinds of people, to accept and finish bigger responsibilities, to see the beauty in spite of the ugliness of this world, to conquer the fear of rejection.

Today, I learned to be still, to be quiet, to stop, to think and just believe that tomorrow, goals and lifelong dreams will be attained… that tomorrow is bigger, that God is bigger, that life is a process, that hope is enough right at this moment.

That today, you should just sit back and learn to

TRUST THE PROCESS

 

 

 

 

Daydreaming

tumblr_mcx6vySPbh1rxgllzo1_500

An endless chase of what’s ahead

Counting the whites in your head.

They say fear is the only thing we should fear.

But why love strangle me into a deep sleep?


Yien 081016

Image Property of rebloggy.com

She Was Once a Girl

tumblr_miso0z255m1s16dq2o1_500She was once a girl who thought keeping her mouth shut is always the answer.

She was never demanding nor expecting anything in return.

But in her mind, she’s dying and craving.

Yet, “not today,” she said.


She was once a timid girl who thought everything was rainbow.

She had never seen darkness, blackness and oblivion.

But one day, all the colors she had known vanished

Thus, dullness is the only color she holds.


She knows silence is mightier than any words but her mouth opens when needed to.

Dullness is the reality but making color is what she intended to do.

That timid girl is a big girl now.

That girl is me…

trying to brave the world ahead.


Julienne

08.03.16

Unsung Song

Write down your fears and be alive.

Take my hand, together let’s fly:

To the moon and back,

To the sun and back,

To the greatest adventure of your life.

 

Paint me black and blue and red.

All the colors in your hand:

As white as snow;

As pretty as pink;

Together we’ll color the world.

 

Worry no more

Sorry no more

We’ll create a life within your home.

 

Write down your dreams,

Color it red.

Let your dreams be alive and fly like a bird:

To a world full of beauty,

A world full of joy.

Let your heart be filled with symphony and tone.

Julienne


This is supposed to be a song. But because I don’t have a good voice and I don’t have the guts to post the sound recording I made last Wednesday, it will stay an unsung song until the end of time.