Hawak

unspoken

Pagod na pagod na akong lumaban.

Pagod na pagod na akong hawakan, ang mga pangarap na tila ba’y wala namang patutunguhan.

Pagod na akong tahakin ang landas na hindi ko alam ang pupuntahan.

Ligtas pa ba kung sasabihin kong, ayoko na, tigil na?

Sa ganitong panahon, napapagtanto ko kung gaano kahirap na kapitan ang mga bagay na mawawala rin pala.

Sa ganitong panahon, nararamdaman ko na hindi ko pala kayang mag-isa.

Dahil sa ganitong panahon, na akala ko’y kaya ko ng bumitaw, ‘yon pala’y hawak Mo pa rin ang aking mga kamay.

Ang aking mga kamay, nanginginig, napapagod.

Napapagod na sa pagsusulat ng mga bagay, mga plano… na sa huli pala ay parang bulang mawawala.

Nanginginig sa takot kung tama pa ba ito, nanginginig sa pagod, sa paglaban, sa pagpapatuloy ng mga bagay na hindi pala para sa’kin.

Ito na ang katapusan,

Tatapusin ko na.

Ang paglaban sa isang digmaan na pinanalunan Mo na.

Ito na ang katapusan,

Tatapusin ko na.

At ngayon ikaw naman uli ang mag-uumpisa.

Umpisahan Mong baguhin ang puso ko, buuin, pagtibayin, palambutin.

Umpisahan Mong gawin ang nararapat.

Tapos na ako.

Ikaw na uli ang may hawak sa buhay ko.

02.18.17

Creation + Passion + New Project

“Creativity is intelligence having fun” –  Albert Einstein

Maybe, I get God on why He chose to create this world.

Creating something out of nothing is fulfilling. And it is more fulfilling to know that the thing you create serves as an inspiration and gives you a purpose.

One of my many passions is creating something out of nothing — putting it into 3 letters — DIY. I love creating stuff. Creating an ordinary item into an extraordinary one. Recycling unusable items into a usable one. I love generating and implementing ideas. I love how simple ideas come to life. I love the idea that on a simple thing you do, you make the world a better and pretty place.

And to my surprise, many are just like me. Maybe doing DIY is more cost-efficient or maybe it becomes a hobby. But what I am sure of is making art is purposeful and fulfilling.

In these, I am inspired to work on a new project involving arts. And now, I am inviting all creatives to answer this brief survey, actually it is more of knowing your story as an (frustrated) artist/creative.

 

Fear of the Future

Sometimes when you thought you know everything, that’s when life slaps you in the face and remind you, you don’t know anything at all.

Your eyes are set to higher goals, to a lifelong dream you have been holding on to your heart since you were young. And now, you step out in the world where reality is not as friendly as you thought it would be.

This week marks my 4 years in the corporate world. As I always say, I have never thought to be here for long. In fact, being here is a love-hate relationship. There are times when I feel I do not deserve anything like this. And there are those moments when self-entitlement struck me. And I hate what this world makes me feel: self-pity, unjust confidence, talentless, self-entitlement, unworthy, hatred, out-of-place, and most of all fear… fear of what the future will bring.

Okay before you stop reading because of all these rants, let me tell you this: In all these crazy and unsolicited self-pity, there’s joy… there is always joy in everything. Life, even how hard it may seem, always makes me realize there is good in every circumstances. The corporate world taught me to be strong, to face the giants of this world, to interact with different kinds of people, to accept and finish bigger responsibilities, to see the beauty in spite of the ugliness of this world, to conquer the fear of rejection.

Today, I learned to be still, to be quiet, to stop, to think and just believe that tomorrow, goals and lifelong dreams will be attained… that tomorrow is bigger, that God is bigger, that life is a process, that hope is enough right at this moment.

That today, you should just sit back and learn to

TRUST THE PROCESS

 

 

 

 

Daydreaming

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An endless chase of what’s ahead

Counting the whites in your head.

They say fear is the only thing we should fear.

But why love strangle me into a deep sleep?


Yien 081016

Image Property of rebloggy.com

She Was Once a Girl

tumblr_miso0z255m1s16dq2o1_500She was once a girl who thought keeping her mouth shut is always the answer.

She was never demanding nor expecting anything in return.

But in her mind, she’s dying and craving.

Yet, “not today,” she said.


She was once a timid girl who thought everything was rainbow.

She had never seen darkness, blackness and oblivion.

But one day, all the colors she had known vanished

Thus, dullness is the only color she holds.


She knows silence is mightier than any words but her mouth opens when needed to.

Dullness is the reality but making color is what she intended to do.

That timid girl is a big girl now.

That girl is me…

trying to brave the world ahead.


Julienne

08.03.16

Unsung Song

Write down your fears and be alive.

Take my hand, together let’s fly:

To the moon and back,

To the sun and back,

To the greatest adventure of your life.

 

Paint me black and blue and red.

All the colors in your hand:

As white as snow;

As pretty as pink;

Together we’ll color the world.

 

Worry no more

Sorry no more

We’ll create a life within your home.

 

Write down your dreams,

Color it red.

Let your dreams be alive and fly like a bird:

To a world full of beauty,

A world full of joy.

Let your heart be filled with symphony and tone.

Julienne


This is supposed to be a song. But because I don’t have a good voice and I don’t have the guts to post the sound recording I made last Wednesday, it will stay an unsung song until the end of time.

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Sesquipedalian

Can we go back to simpler times
When our hearts go fonder to simpler things;
When we smile simply by looking at the sky;
When we walk to the same ground;
When words are just words but action speaks louder;
When we only see what’s ahead not what’s behind?

Tell me, can we go back to those times:
When life itself is worth more than pictures;
When laughter is as contagious;
When eyes sparkle to the sound of a bell;
When we distinguish good and sweet smell?

Can we go back to the times;
When daffodils grow more than buildings;
When raining means bathing;
When hurting means learning;
and kneeling means praying?

Tell me now, can we go back…
When all these simpler things seem out-of-reach;
When we realize we’re no longer a child full of dreams;
No kiss, no bliss, but dreams in a grease?
Can we still go back? Can we?

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image

 

 

 


ses·qui·pe·da·li·an

ˌseskwəpəˈdālyən/
adjective

formal
adjective: sesquipedalian
  1. (of a word) polysyllabic; long.
    “sesquipedalian surnames”
    1. characterized by long words; long-winded.
      “the sesquipedalian prose of scientific journals”
trust-the-process

Trust the Process

I remembered the first time I tried hand lettering: I thought my lettering was good enough, I think it was okay, not pretty but acceptable to post in Instagram. But when I look back now, I just can’t look at my first lettering. I just can’t. It is one of my many regrets in life.

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This was my first publicized hand lettering. Yikes! -_-

I know, I know… it was not pretty. I don’t know how come I have the guts to post or even to try more. But Abbey Sy (a Filipino letterer and my inspiration), says, “Practice makes progress.” So I tried, I continue…

I’ve practiced a lot. I allotted most of my time lettering. Even at work, I have my watercolor, water brush and other art paraphernalia with me.

That shaky little hand. #moderncalligraphy #lettering #oneword #letters #watercolor #artlettering #typography

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Do not neglect you talent. – 1 Timothy 4:14 #practicing #calligraphy #lettering #art #bibleverse #watercolor #waterbrush

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Songs #practicing #calligraphy #lettering #art #music

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#lettering #calligraphy #art #practice

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Yung feeling mo ang ganda ganda yun pala hindi pa. #practicing #calligraphy #art #lettering

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Don't just be good to others, be good to yourself too. #practice #waterbrush #watercolor #calligraphy #lettering #whileworking

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I will admit, this is not in par of any letterer I follow in Instagram. Yet, I am happy to know that I am progressing. See the first photo in this entry… it’s a blah compared to the ones in the latter part.

Prior to this lettering mania I am now in, I once believed that PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. But I was wrong. Nothing is perfect in this world. So no, practice does not make you perfect or your craft. What practice does is make you progress, develop. It is better to say  PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS.

As much as I want to say that I am a pro, I came into a realization, that lettering is a long process. It is not an overnight process. It is not instant. Lettering is a process which I need to undergo to be better. Well, most of the things/circumstances here on earth is a process.

It took me couple of months or more than that to achieve these:

The beauty of black and white. Simple yet engaging. Ansaaaveeee? #bibleverse #calligraphy #lettering #arts #waterbrush #earthy

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Every flower must grow through dirt. #mondaymantra #flatlay #calligraphy #lettering #art #watercolor #waterbrush

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I know I have a lot of things to improve still. Sometimes, I feel too sluggish to continue because I just can’t seem to see any light compared to Abbey Sy. I mean she’s the goddess of lettering. And my lettering is such a mediocre one. But whatevs, I am still loving the progress, the process and the patience I learned through all these.

Abbey Sy always say, TRUST THE PROCESS. And, oh! The Bible also says that there is a proper time for everything (Ecclesiastes 8). So I trust that everything will fall into the right place at the right time. Just for now, I will trust the long process lettering is taking me.

And I am just so thankful that God has given me the gift of art.

Julienne


This post is written because I don’t have anything to blog. 🙂

 

Sistema

Palipasin ang oras.

Hayaan mong kainin ng sistema ang iyong kakayahan.


Sino ka nga ba para humingi?

Humingi ng nararapat sa iyo,

Humingi ng kaunting oras para patunayan,

na hindi ito ang iyong kagustuhan.


Palipasin ang oras.

Katulad ng pagpapalipas sa pagkakataong umangat.


Ano ka nga ba sa mata nila?

Sa mata nilang mapanghusga

ni hindi maibigay ang naaayon sa iyo

ni hindi ka mailagay sa upuang ukol sa’yo.


Palipasin ang oras.

Katulad ng paglipas ng isang magandang kinabukasan.


Saan ka nga ba pupulutin?

Saan putik ka matatagpuan matapos ng mahabang paglalakbay?

Oo, niyurak na ng sistema na iyong pinagsisilbihan

ang pangarap na matagal mo na sanang nakamtan.


Yien05.17.16

Throwback: Heart’s Rainy Day

Ok… because it’s Friday and I don’t have any prepared blog post for today, this post is a recycled one from my Facebook notes. *Curse this writer’s block.*

The poem below was written almost 5 years ago. I can still somewhat vividly remembered where, why and when I’ve written this.

When: May 9, 2011 (Monday), one summer evening

Where:  I’ve written this at the back of my pink journal notebook in our family’s salas.

Why: Because it was summer then but in the evening, the rain poured so hard and I do not have anything to do except write something.

Without further ado, here it is:

Heart’s Rainy Day

It’s a season of warmth but it’s raining.

There’s lot of reasons to smile but you’re frowning

Heart is made to love but you’re hating

You said that your wonderful life is so boring

You didn’t see the light that is coming.

Now you are living a life like you’re losing.

Just stand up, relax and be you to win it.

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Photo not mine. Thanks Pinterest!

Instead of being melodramatic that time, I resolved on writing a mini poem.