“It’s not a question of who are we really. It’s who we want to be”
Life. Most of the time, life is seemingly like a blur. For one moment, you feel like there’s a whole world of happiness and contentment, and for another moment, your world has drained all the sanity in you.
2014 was a test of faith: faith to things you are ought to do, and faith to things you want to do. Hoping that someday, what you ought to do is similar to what you want to do. But that’s not all of it. 2014 was also the year you take the leap. You go against your zone, you put your feet outside the invisible line because you want to belong somewhere and you know where you were then is not the ground you were supposed to be standing on. You go outside your comfort zone, you for once, take the courage to slow down and breathe.
It was not easy — slowing down. Slowing down means you have a huge amount of time to think. Thinking is not a very good companion when you are in the middle of a void of who you are and who you want to be, a void which drains all the sanity you keep inside. But, slowing down is needed. Because you’ve been in a hustle for a very long time since you didn’t want to disappoint people near your heart, but most importantly, you didn’t want to disappoint the “very-hard-on-yourself” you. You were suffocating and choking yourself. You needed to let go of things. You needed to come to your senses. You needed to be wanted, to belong somewhere. Slowing down is the only key, it is the only answer.
Younger self, even now, I would like to tell you, slow down, maybe be still every once in a while. Don’t suffocate yourself from uncontrollable things. Don’t forget to breathe once in a while. Yes, time is passing. But, everything has its right season, what comes is what you should take in. Yes, we are growing old. But, don’t forget your sanity is important also. Don’t work and stress yourself out on things that didn’t go as planned.
Younger self, don’t be so hard on yourself.
To read Sunday Series, Note to My Younger Self, click the following:
Note to My Younger Self is a 12-week Sunday Series that aims to make sense of my past in order for me to move on to the present without extra baggage.