Note to My Younger Self | 07 | 2013

“And I want you to know
That I’m not letting go
Even when you come undone.”

A shift of perspective. Before 2013, you have been the most pessimistic person I’ve known. A realist-pessimist was really a deadly combination. You have never believed in anything your mind could not comprehend, your eyes could not see. You have never trusted a fairy-tale ending, a happy ending. Because how could you trust and believe something without a solid proof?

And then there’s God. To be honest, at first, you have been skeptical about the idea of a loving God. Why not? For you, you needed an answer to questions like why there are injustices in the world, why is there an unfair treatment, why are there poor families out there? If God is a loving God, why does He allow things like these happen?

But then, you realized your eyes have been closed this whole time. Opening it was not an easy job. But someone has been that patient to let you see the goodness of this world and the goodness and grace of the Lord.

Looking back, you thought God was that Big Guy Upstairs and not only that, you thought God is that angry God who punished people for not doing good works. But then, you realized how loving God is and how gracious He is. And that shifted your perspective about life. You started to see the beauty amidst the ugliness of the world. You began to see the colors of the monochromatic world. You started to understand that you are loved, you are enough, you are, for once, Someone’s apple of the eye. You began to realize that Someone will not let go of you just because you are you. You, from being the realist-pessimist girl became the realist-optimist woman.

2013 had been a learning process for you, digging deeper for the truth, slowly learning to surrender.

Younger self, don’t you worry if you still can’t figure out life. Don’t you worry if you think you are unable to be a consistent Christian. Don’t you worry about anything. Because God is a gracious God. You are now saved, redeemed. Don’t you worry about the lows because Christian life is not always highs, it is most of the time a struggle but the key is to build firm faith to the One who created you. Lastly, younger self, brace yourself, because the more you put your faith to Him, the more your faith will be tested.


To read Sunday Series, Note to My Younger Self, click the following:

Note to My Younger Self | 01 | 2007 (Best Shot)

Note to My Younger Self | 02 | 2008 (Goodbyes)

Note to My Younger Self | 03 | 2009 (Everything’s Okay)

Note to My Younger Self | 04 | 2010 (Hard Times)

Note to My Younger Self | 05 | 2011 (Learning to Breathe)

Note to My Younger Self | 06 | 2012 (Endings & Beginnings)

Note to My Younger Self is a 12-week Sunday Series that aims to make sense of my past in order for me to move on to the present without extra baggage.



Photo Credit: Home Inspirations

Quote: More by Matthew West

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