“And I am learning to breathe, I’m learning to crawl, I’m finding that You and You alone can break my fall. I’m living again, awake and alive. I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies.”
When I told you last week that things will get better, I mean it. Before 2011, your life has hit rock bottom and you thought you could not get back up. But let me tell you this, you did. Well, it was not easy. Getting back up was not an overnight process and you need a conscious effort to do it.
2009 and 2010 left you scarred, broken and isolated. It left you questioning the goodness you know and have. It left you and 2011 found you. 2011 found you trying to fix what was broken, trying to look for answers to questions, trying to find the missing piece of your life. Instead of finding answers, answers found you.
All along you’ve been chasing the wrong things, wrong people. For so long, you were looking for validation of your existence through people, through temporary highs, through conditional feelings. Without you realizing, the thing you’ve always been looking for was there all along, waiting to be opened, waiting to be recognized.
You have never thought that life could turn from bitter to sweet again. It’s impossible, you thought. Let me tell you younger self, God found you. He found you needing someone who would hear, needing someone who would hold your hand, needing someone who would not judge. He found you from the darkest days of your life. He found you when all you wanted was to hide. He found you when you were too stubborn to be comforted. He found you needing and He held your hands. He held your hands and that’s what you wanted all along, someone to make you feel you are not alone fighting your battles that someone, somehow is willing to fight with you. And He didn’t only fight with you, He fights for you.
Younger self, I know there were no words that could describe how grateful you were (and still are). How could you? How could you fathom what had happened? How could you fathom the Creator of the universe is hands-on with your life, that He could shower you unconditional love? It’s unfathomable. Up to now, you are astounded and in awe.
I know you were still learning to yield to Him. I know this would not be an easy ride. It would be an actual roller coaster ride, I tell you. You would slip away. You would still be having battles. You would be confused too. But don’t you worry, life is a process and His plans are always greater than our conceived plans.
Learn to be still. Learn to breathe. Learn to trust. Learn to have faith. Everything will be alright.
To read the Sunday Series, Note to My Younger Self:
Note to My Younger Self is a 12-week Sunday Series that aims to make sense of my past in order for me to move on to the present without extra baggage.