Jacob and the Apple of His Eye

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  – Psalm 34:18

I’ve never seen this verse in a new light. This has been a verse I read then skip without even reflecting on it. For me, this never been a verse to really think about deeply.

Then, last May 24, as I was reading the Book of Genesis I realized that this verse is somewhat my life verse, it truly hits home.

Here’s the overview of the Book of Genesis: In the Book of Genesis, Jacob has two wives, Leah and Rachel. Rachel has always been the apple of the eye of Jacob that Leah always ends up being the second choice. But, because of this, Leah found favor in God. She was blessed with children while Rachel has none.

Then, that’s when I was reminded by this verse: God is near to the brokenhearted. Leah was brokenhearted. Even her spirit was crushed knowing that she would never be the first choice, she would never be the apple of the eye of Jacob. But, God saw her heartaches and blessed her.

All my life, I have been always battling to be the best, to be excellent, to be the first choice of people close to me. My heart breaks whenever people subconsciously remind me that what I do and what I say is not enough. It is like saying I am not simply enough. I accepted that fact a long time ago. I am the “almost but not quite” person.

Being an almost and pleasing everyone is exhausting. It is poison, it will eat you up inside and leave you empty. It is also frustrating to the point it is suffocating.

But being reminded that God is near to the brokenhearted, is comforting. God knows my heart, my thoughts. He knows what’s going on and He also knows the way out. And the way out is Him, to believe and trust, to be faithful with His promises.

I may not found favor to people. But I found favor with God and that’s more than enough.

Yien052716

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