And the year 2015 closes.
About this time, I should have been prepping for my 2016 goals. But today seems I am lost to actually come up with words that will suffice my cravings in life. I am a dreamer, a dreamer who has bigger dreams, dreams to be the difference this world needs. I dream a dream that everyone is dreaming… a better world.
Last year, I’ve listed many goals, most of it were selfish goals where the core point is to earn more, in terms of money and in terms of self-betterment. I know there was nothing wrong with wishing to be financially abundant and with wishing for betterment. Yet, 2015 has been a year of self-pity. There were thoughts like… “am I good enough?” “Would the money I am earning can suffice the things I wanted to achieve?” Last year, the fear of the future has been the theme accidentally. 2015 should be the YEAR OF EXCELLENCE which I fell short. There were times I am doubtful of myself to the point of me crying alone in the inside. I expected so much of myself. I expected to be more. But, I fell short, JUST BECAUSE I AM TOO SELFISH IN DREAMING.
Yet again, today, as I am writing this, I realize how God works through me. I was busy counting the sorrows when in fact God has been blessing me with reasons to be joyous.
1. Child Sponsorship
Fact: I was not expecting to be part of World Vision’s program of Child Sponsorship, given my earnings, it seemed too impossible. Knowing myself, I’m too frugal to shell out money to things I know is risky.
SUPER FACT: But yet again, God has given me a soft and generous heart. He has proven His power to make the impossible, possible. Now, I am sponsoring a child’s education and other needs.
NOTE: Oh, to add, this child I am sponsoring is giving me letters of her progress.
You know, it is truly a delight to be a part of a world of these children. I must say, GIVE even you don’t have enough for yourself. Because in a long run, what you GIVE will be a big part of someone else’s life.
2. Ministry Sponsorship
Fact: I am not part of any Church right now. I was born and raised Catholic but in my heart I know I have issues in Catholicism. So I tried to be part of another Church which is Victory (Every Nation). But I am not active member. I am only floating until my heart settle to the idea.
Super Fact: Then God used me again. Just like the child sponsorship, this fact came to me as a surprise. Really? I am giving money to Every Nation’s Campus Ministry Program? Until now, I cannot fathom how God uses me in the most unbelievable way.
NOTE: I know this is only a small responsibility. But yet again, I am amaze how my earnings can be a part of spreading the Gospel to youths.
3. DOING WHAT I LOVE
FACT: I am currently working as a Technical Recruiter wherein I interview and recruit IT professionals. And the truth is, I have a love-hate relationship with this job. It is like the opposite of everything I wanted for my future. This is where my anxiety begins.
SUPER FACT: Aside from recruiting, our HR Director has given me other task — Newsletter Writing. And I am part of the Events Committee where I can show to the world of my unending love of arts. See, I may not have the day job which I wholly like but God is giving me the best opportunities I can imagine. I am not courageous in risking so the best way is to do what I love to do while doing the least of things I want to do.
4. OUT OF TOWN VACATIONS
Fact: I am not a traveller. Next fact would be I do not travel without my family. I am a family person and I am only comfortable with them.
Super Fact: Never in my wildest dream to have to travel with other people even with my closest of friends. So yeah, this year I got the chance to travel with my good friend AP with her Highschool barkada. We went to Cagbalete, Quezon, a very beautiful island.
It was like God saying to me, “Get out of your comfort zone!” And I was like, “OK God!”
I also have travelled with my family last year. We went to Pangasinan, La Union, Tagaytay, Pansol, Makiling. Yes I know it was not much. Don’t expect me to travel too far ok? Haha
Fact: I am not a wedding goer. Because literally, it is a party. I do not love parties. I am an introvert you know.
Super Fact: God has always surprise me by getting me out of my comforts. Last November 2015, my sister married his long time boyfriend for 8 years. And she made me a Maid of Honor which means I have to deal with people. Oh God, how I love your surprises!
Can I say more? They are the ones who make me want to go on, to be the best, to be courageous. They may not know it but they are God’s gift to me.
I love the spontaineity of life. These were not my plans, but I think these are the plans of God for me. Through these experiences, I gain more courage, I gain more experience, I gain what I need to gain. Maybe these were not grand happenings in my life, but I am assured that these were the best plan that even I cannot plan for myself.
Actually, until now, I cannot fathom God’s greatness. Last year, about this time, here’s what He told me:
“Everything is God’s gift.” Whenever and wherever I am right now, it is God’s gifts and instrument. It is His plan. I may whine about how things are not going according to ‘my’ plan. Or I may choose to make the most out of the situation. Remember: God’s plan is better than your well thought plan.
Oh, how Great is our God!
This post was written last January 1, 2016. However, life happens that’s why it is only now I’ve posted it. Happy New Year!!!!!