What I like about being an introvert is I can always reason my way out to a party or an event, I can practically shrug at people to leave me alone, to leave me home, to leave me in one corner of the room. And the best part is that I can create my personal space even in a crowded room.
Yet, everything has an opposite reaction to it. As Newton puts it, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Being an introvert has its own negative effect, especially on me. Because of my persistent shrugging when invited to an event or party, people are accustomed of me saying “no” to them that’s why they are not inviting me anymore; which sometimes has its toll on me.
I wanted to belong to a group. I wanted to be somebody to another human being, somebody important. I crave for belonging. I crave for importance. And because of the wall I have already built through all these years, I’ve become the second option to everybody. Well, mostly, that’s my fault. Because I tried so hard to push people away, to limit people’s access to me. Actually, it is not a deliberate thing, but it is a natural reaction for me: to shrug people, to put walls and to be not trustful. Well, I do not have a traumatic childhood. It is just so hard for me to put a 100% trust even a 70% trust. It is like pushing on a pull door.
So going back to personal space. Personal space is a good thing because it means you can find solace even without depending on other people. But always remember Newton’s Third Law: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Too much of personal space can poison your relationship to other people and note not just any other people, but the people you love and cherish.
I have a lot to talk about personal space… maybe next time!