These past few weeks, I was reading Harry Potter series. As I finished the 6th book, Half Blood Prince, I was dumbstruck by the fact that Professor Dumbledore died. I can’t fathom how a great wizard like him died. By the way, that is not my point. My point is — Death.
Most of the people I know, fear death. Even the infamous Lord Voldemort fears it. Even Professor Dumbledore wishes to be invincible at a point of his life. Who does not want to conquer death and live as long as forever? However, it is not the case who wants to die or live. The fact that death is irrevocable, we cannot choose to live all the time. Because death is like resigning from a job you held so tight in your heart, you say goodbye and then you leave. Yet, the difference is unlike a resignation, death is leaving and it is forever. No resurrection, no going back… Death is the end point. As much as we would like to stay, it is just like that, we die.
One night, after finishing the 6th book, I was pondering about Professor Dumbledore’s death and I felt a tingling sensation. Many questions popped in my mind. I was thinking, what will the future behold for me? What if I get old, can I still do the things I can do when I was still young? Will anybody care for what I’ve been or I’ve become? What if I get old and I die old, will I be “someone”? What if I die, will I come back to life again? Will I remember my life? Will anyone remember me?
Old age and death hold too much questions. Questions which are left unanswered, even the greatest philosophers cannot answer. However, I always want to believe, there is more in store for me in my old age. There is still a party music in my head when I get old. That my last days on earth is a happy one. There is life after death. There is music and dancing after life.
Sometimes, I pity myself for having thought like these. Am I not happy with my life today that I manage to think this way? Or am I clinically paranoid for having these thoughts? Or am I just woken up to the reality that someday I will get old and die?
Then, as I was writing these thoughts, I realized a thing I learned from The Fault in Our Stars: Oblivion is a crap. We will never be unremembered. We live in this world wherein we walk into someone’s life without knowing it. We imprint ourselves to them, leaving a mark to their hearts. We are known though we didn’t want someone to know us. We fear that the more we let people in, the more we are bound to hurt them. But it is always like that. So being forgotten is impossible. Somewhere and someone out there will remember us.
We fear old age because it always proceeded by death. We fear death because it holds so much uncertainties. The questions of remembrance and legacy haunt us. But always remember: Someone out there will remember you and how you are.
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