There is a girl trying to mend her heart
Trying to make things right
I want to hold her, but she refuses to be held
It’s her fault, she knows
Taking the blame seems to be her last option
She can’t be happy
Because deep down, it’s hurting so much
I tried to comfort her, but she refuses to be comforted
Her breath is so cold
“She doesn’t have a feeling, she said”
But I know she feels everything
She said she can’t be heard
She said she lost her mind
She don’t want to hear anything
Because there’s only noise and it’s breaking her peaceful mind.
She’s still up but I can’t feel her presence
She refuses to be happy for even some times.
It is hard to see her like that
But what can I do?
I am just a reflection
A mere reflection.
I can still remember the time I wrote this poem. That time of the year when emotions were all up. That time of the year I felt lowly of myself. That time of the year when I just wanted to disappear and be all gone.
I don’t want to expound in the story behind this poem. But all I want to point out is that—that time when I felt sorry of myself, was the time when God opened the door for my salvation.
Isn’t it magical? That God works through our darkest hours and gives us hope and work on us until we are done.
Remember those times that we have suffered, we were in pain, we were afraid, we were in doubt… at those time, we didn’t know why events like that happen. We even question God for what happened.
We may not know why certain painful events happen but what I am certain of is—God is working.
That time when you cried because you found out that your crush has a crush with your best friend –God is working on you.
That time when your family suffered financial crisis –God is working on you.
That time when one of your closest friends became one of the strangers you barely knew –God is working on you.
Remember this: The painful moments that we have experienced are just little dots of our existence and we will wake up one day knowing that there is a higher purpose behind those dots. And sooner or later, we will all see the big picture.
–My reflection for the 8th Week Devotional of Refuel by Ru dela Torre.