You don’t trust me? I don’t trust you either…

For most of my existence, I have been distrustful to people. I don’t fully trust anyone in my life, even family members or any close friends.


I still can’t figure out how my trust issue started, just one day, I realized, I don’t trust anything in this world.

Whenever I am alone and when not reading a book, I always imagine things like performing in front of the crowd, being a best-seller author and sharing knowledge to other people.

There are times when I thought of myself having split personality. And totally just doubt my existence or questioning if I really know myself or if what I know is what others see to me. I know there are totally crazy thoughts. But what if? I am also questioning why red is called red and not white?

What if we are just conditioned to believe everything? Even the belief that God exist.

and this:

Trust and faith go hand in hand. If you don’t trust, you don’t have faith.

These little thoughts come to my mind:

When we distrust, we make God so small.

When we doubt, we make God so sad.

I know, I’m still battling my issues on trust. In Christian life, it is hard to be always in doubt. But this year, I claim to challenge and stretch my faith. This needs a lot of trusting, right?

If you are like me who’s battling on being distrustful, let us contemplate day and night the below verses and I hope we’ll win our battle:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

-Proverbs 3:5-6

By the way, this is my reflection on the fifth devotional of Refuel by Ru dela Torre, entitled, Yellow Sign.


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