I struggle to pray…
Don’t react yet, I am not done with my sentence.
I struggle to pray PUBLICLY.
I am no public speaker.
I am no good in delineating my thoughts orally.
I don’t talk much about my personal life to people I don’t trust and even to people I trust (which includes my family and friends).
I can’t express myself easily.
So I think that’s the problem, I am no talker, communicator and not so confident with speaking. And that is why it is hard for me to pray in public.
Once upon a time, but not so long ago, I attended a training and was tasked on the spot to pray. I obeyed, but my words seem to rumble and thoughts became blank (as if brain activities begin to stop) because I was really nervous. I felt I failed myself and mostly God (since as a Christian, it is expected that one should know how to pray, prepared or not, right?)
It should be easy, I said to myself. I think if I was tasked to dance or sing in public, it will be easier than praying publicly. This gets me so frustrated.
I struggled and is still struggling…
I remembered what my friend told me, that, praying to God should be like talking to your best friend… spontaneous and full of emotions.
“And when you pray do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.” -Matthew 6:7 NIV
Please pray for me as I walk through my prayer life.
If you have the same struggle, please let me know, so I will know that I’m not the only one. Hehe 🙂