I felt anger. Yes! For the first time in my Christian life I felt anger and I was fully aware that it is anger not just any irritation made by irritating circumstances but the REAL ANGER. It is as if lava wants to come out very soon in a volcano. It is as if I want to burst out in anger but I can’t because I don’t like other people to see the not-so-good-side of me. That time I can’t breathe, it is like someone is stopping my throat to exhale and inhale air. That time my muscles move involuntarily, it is like the time when I was very nervous that my hands are shaking against my will (haha).
Why I felt angry? It is because of that one time that kindness flew away from one’s heart and the thought of rudeness takes over. And as a Christian, I felt the need to correct that person for I am a friend. But she continues to talk and think rudely. And that is when my anger burst out from the inside (ironic), I felt the tremors, I want to cry, I can’t breathe. Then, I decided to walk and breathe fresh air, thinking why people are like that, I felt hopeless, not for me but for her. Then God reminded me of this:
“Do not become weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a good harvest if you just don’t give up.” –Galatians 6:9
Well, I thought I need to tell it to her but I refused to, she needs to be taught about the principles of God’s words because I felt she will be overwhelmed if I tell her directly God’s word. But still even those words reminds me how kindness repays kindness, I still feel angry. Then God reminded me again this:
“Be angry and do not sin…”-Ephesians 4:26
Yeah right. It is fine to be angry, but don’t let rage becomes sin. How? Forgive easily; don’t think of destructive words against that person. Simple but powerful!
–A thought of that day…