Fear of the Future

Sometimes when you thought you know everything, that’s when life slaps you in the face and remind you, you don’t know anything at all.

Your eyes are set to higher goals, to a lifelong dream you have been holding on to your heart since you were young. And now, you step out in the world where reality is not as friendly as you thought it would be.

This week marks my 4 years in the corporate world. As I always say, I have never thought to be here for long. In fact, being here is a love-hate relationship. There are times when I feel I do not deserve anything like this. And there are those moments when self-entitlement struck me. And I hate what this world makes me feel: self-pity, unjust confidence, talentless, self-entitlement, unworthy, hatred, out-of-place, and most of all fear… fear of what the future will bring.

Okay before you stop reading because of all these rants, let me tell you this: In all these crazy and unsolicited self-pity, there’s joy… there is always joy in everything. Life, even how hard it may seem, always makes me realize there is good in every circumstances. The corporate world taught me to be strong, to face the giants of this world, to interact with different kinds of people, to accept and finish bigger responsibilities, to see the beauty in spite of the ugliness of this world, to conquer the fear of rejection.

Today, I learned to be still, to be quiet, to stop, to think and just believe that tomorrow, goals and lifelong dreams will be attained… that tomorrow is bigger, that God is bigger, that life is a process, that hope is enough right at this moment.

That today, you should just sit back and learn to

TRUST THE PROCESS

 

 

 

 

Zombie

Scroll down. Like. Read. Share.

Scroll down. Judge. Click. Like. Share.

Scroll down. Like. Comment. LOL.

Scroll down. New feeds. Click. Refresh. Scroll down.

A month full of scrolling down. Like a Zombie in a new era of technology plague. I can’t stop. I tried to and still am trying. But to no avail. I’m still scrolling down. Scrolling down until my shoulder hurts, until my arms can’t take no more, until my eyes get sprained from all those eye sore (mind sore) status ranting. Instead of a zombie running for brains, I am running for “connection.”

Books piled up on my bed wanting to be read by their master. Oh! What have I done? I abandoned my love of reading for Social Media? This is not me, not my normal me. I supposed I’ve been hypnotized by a several likes, shares and somewhat superficial connection between “friends.”

Is this a part of me wanting to please everyone? To be relatable? To relate?

Is this a part of me wanting answers to life questions?

Oh! I need to stop this addiction while I still can. I need to stop this madness. I need to stop this zombie-fication. I want out of this machine. It doesn’t feel like freedom.


Yien 081416

Daydreaming

tumblr_mcx6vySPbh1rxgllzo1_500

An endless chase of what’s ahead

Counting the whites in your head.

They say fear is the only thing we should fear.

But why love strangle me into a deep sleep?


Yien 081016

Image Property of rebloggy.com

She Was Once a Girl

tumblr_miso0z255m1s16dq2o1_500She was once a girl who thought keeping her mouth shut is always the answer.

She was never demanding nor expecting anything in return.

But in her mind, she’s dying and craving.

Yet, “not today,” she said.


She was once a timid girl who thought everything was rainbow.

She had never seen darkness, blackness and oblivion.

But one day, all the colors she had known vanished

Thus, dullness is the only color she holds.


She knows silence is mightier than any words but her mouth opens when needed to.

Dullness is the reality but making color is what she intended to do.

That timid girl is a big girl now.

That girl is me…

trying to brave the world ahead.


Julienne

08.03.16

Book of the Month: The Trial of Apollo

To be honest, I have been too busy to read a book or even create a beautiful masterpiece or write a blog post. Curse you adulting and responsibilities. That’s why this month, embarrassing as it may sound, I’ve only read one book and that book is the first book of Rick Riordan’s The Trial of Apollo. So, I don’t have any choice but to give this book the crown for this blog’s Book of the Month feature.

26252859

Don’t get me wrong, this book is a nice read. I also rated it 4 stars on GoodReads. It is just that I am more of a feeler whenever I read book. If my heart didn’t melt or my mind isn’t boggled enough, I wouldn’t be as in love as much as I tried to be.

Book One made me laugh. I couldn’t stop laughing at Apollo’s narrative. It made me think if Apollo has any way related to Narcissus? I checked, but none. Anyways, this was such a great read. But I’ve made a big mistake… If you are familiar with Rick Riordan, you will know that he is the god of cliffhanger. My big mistake was starting this series knowing the next books are still in the works of Riordan.

Anyways, there are some few quotes that really are remarkable:

“Not all monsters were three-ton reptiles with poisonous breath. Many wore human faces.”

A very on point observation, Apollo! Yes!

“Nothing is more tragic than loving someone to the depths of your soul and knowing they cannot and will not ever love you back.”

Deep Apollo! Very deep!

“Things can turn out differently, Apollo. That’s the nice thing about being human. We only have one life, but we can choose what kind of story it’s going to be.”

And the bacon part… I love the bacon part.

Oh, gods—bacon! I promised myself that once I achieved immortality again, I would assemble the Nine Muses and together we would create an ode, a hymnal to the power of bacon, which would move the heavens to tears and cause rapture across the universe.

Bacon is good.

Yes, Apollo, BACON IS LIFE.

So what did I take home in reading this?

  1. You are never old enough to read a children’s book or a YA book.
  2. And yes – bacon! The unwavering love of bacon.
  3. Humans are way scarier and meaner than monsters.
  4. You have one life, don’t be foolish to ruin it.
  5. Mythology spin-off is the best!
  6. Humans are monsters too.

Julienne

#TwentyFive

My life has been a series of uneventful events (that’s redundant, I know). Through these years, sometimes, I find myself stuck in a hole. Yes, that’s a bit of melodramatic. But yes, my brain is an actual representation of chaos and irony. Thank goodness, I always get back up. I am alive and kicking.

What’s a good idea for a birthday? Well, looking back to life lessons I’ve learned (with funny GIFs) is the most sensible thing to do now because I am not celebrating my birthday.


(1) You are worthy of more. When people do not/ cannot reciprocate the love you’ve given, it does not mean you are unworthy of love but just the opposite, you are worthy of more.


(2) People will cross a river for you if you really mean something to them. If not, they will make invalid excuses, valid.


(3) ‘Wag mong dibdibin ang mga bagay-bagay, kasi wala ka naman nu’n.  Hahahaha.😀

Anchorman-2-The-Legend-Continue-Ron-Burgundy-Will-Ferrell-No-Problem-Gif


(4) When people do not appreciate you, let them. Because there is always someone out there who’ll appreciate and love you more than you can fathom.


(5) It’s not too late to start a new hobby or to stop one.

giphy

or calligraphy… let’s stick to calligraphy…


(6) Conforming is NOT the way to go. Be the difference this world needs. When they ZIG, you ZAG.


(7) Don’t just live, be alive.

Ib6CJJQ


(8) Trust the process! The process may be tedious but it will be worth it in the end.

tumblr_lo8b2mWFG21qizu52o1_500


(9) Don’t be deaf and blind to the real world. Yes, this world is beautiful but it has also its share of ugliness.


(10) Love does not conquer all. Obviously, that love is human love.


(11) I was made for loving you. That one thing you want is worth the wait. Just wait.


(12) Find a hobby outside your work. It will make a whole lot of difference.


(13) Let us all be a sucker for a man with a beautiful mind not with a beautiful body/face.


(14) God works.


(15) Stop complaining, start doing.

200_s


(16) Everything and everyone is replaceable.


(17) Read more. Through reading, you will open doors of imagination you haven’t tried to see.


(18) We can deny God’s purpose in our life. But we cannot defy His will.


(19) Always speak life.

200_s


(20) Don’t just be good to others, be good to yourself too. Don’t be so hard on yourself.


(21) Yield more to Him.


(22) Forgive.


(23) Let go. Let Him.

tumblr_n1zi5rWB2V1r7b6cio1_500


(24) Our life is the light this world needs to see in times of darkness.


(25) Nobody’s gonna love me like He do.


I don’t usually celebrate birthdays because it’s too overrated and I just can’t seem to accept the fact that I’m not in my teenage years anymore. But good thing, I don’t look my age. I look younger than my actual age which is good most of the time but annoying at times.

So that’s it! I have more life lessons however I just need to come up with 25, so there.


Julienne

Be Still

 Quiet and be still, God has already overcome the world. Take heart and have faith!

This pretty sums up the 3 day-yielding-more-to-God’s-presence-mid-year-sesh.

Every mid-year, I reevaluate myself, where I am, how’s my heart, how’s my relationship with God. And to tell you frankly, I think I am not in the right frame of heart.

I was very frustrated with my life… too frustrated in fact. I, for once, did not have some encouraging quotes to tell myself. Even my ever reliable fave verse in the Bible couldn’t encourage me. No Galatians 6:9 or even Joshua 1:9 could even make me leap for joy. Because somewhere in the middle, I felt I am slipping away.

Can I be true for once? One uneventful day in a non-suspicious day, there came to my mind questions that I know I should not be entertaining, I ask myself, “What if I am an atheist?” “What if I do not believe in God?” “What if I just stop believing?” “What if, what if?”

Yet… I still choose to believe because I deeply believe in Him. I believe He created human and all those beautiful things. I believe in Him in such a way I cannot explain.

I still have many doubts. Everyday I read the Bible until I drown into sleeping. Nothing. God was not speaking. My heart has begun to wonder… questions, questions, questions… too many questions.

I was praying to God about many things… As in many: the visions He has for me, if what he told me the past years is ever true and really happening. It is frustrating that nothing is happening, dreams that have not translated yet to reality. I know, Jeremiah 29:11… But still!

Then midyear prayer and reflection came:

Take Heart and Have Faith

1st day of midyear prayer and reflection:  Take heart and have faith. God didn’t give you that particular vision to frustrate you. But to keep you going and learn to YIELD to Him more.

blank-header
elle-takeheart.blogspot.com

Quiet and Be Still

2nd day of midyear prayer and reflection: Don’t be afraid just believe. Quiet and be still. With many things distracting you, it is hard to quiet down and be still in His presence. But He commanded you to be quiet and be still for a reason. May be by quieting, you can hear most of His voice, His answers, or even the stories He wants you to hear. You are too afraid to be idle that you forget that His only loving presence will satisfy.

635972328486923253262323544_be-still
theodysseyonline.com

He has Overcome the World

3rd day of midyear prayer and reflection: Overcoming the things and battles you thought you’ve already overcome. Remember, God already overcome the world. The only thing you need to do and have is faith with His mighty power and love.

John16.33-300x200
frenchpressmornings.com

I am stupefied. For so long, I’ve been waiting for answers to those questions in my heart. And God answered: Quiet and be still! I have overcome the world. Take heart and believe! Only dare to believe and God will surely unfold what’s in store for you.

Trust the process. The process is, most of the time, tedious but it will be worth in the end.

Julienne

Unsung Song

Write down your fears and be alive.

Take my hand, together let’s fly:

To the moon and back,

To the sun and back,

To the greatest adventure of your life.

 

Paint me black and blue and red.

All the colors in your hand:

As white as snow;

As pretty as pink;

Together we’ll color the world.

 

Worry no more

Sorry no more

We’ll create a life within your home.

 

Write down your dreams,

Color it red.

Let your dreams be alive and fly like a bird:

To a world full of beauty,

A world full of joy.

Let your heart be filled with symphony and tone.

Julienne


This is supposed to be a song. But because I don’t have a good voice and I don’t have the guts to post the sound recording I made last Wednesday, it will stay an unsung song until the end of time.

wp-1466830150756.jpg

Sesquipedalian

Can we go back to simpler times
When our hearts go fonder to simpler things;
When we smile simply by looking at the sky;
When we walk to the same ground;
When words are just words but action speaks louder;
When we only see what’s ahead not what’s behind?

Tell me, can we go back to those times:
When life itself is worth more than pictures;
When laughter is as contagious;
When eyes sparkle to the sound of a bell;
When we distinguish good and sweet smell?

Can we go back to the times;
When daffodils grow more than buildings;
When raining means bathing;
When hurting means learning;
and kneeling means praying?

Tell me now, can we go back…
When all these simpler things seem out-of-reach;
When we realize we’re no longer a child full of dreams;
No kiss, no bliss, but dreams in a grease?
Can we still go back? Can we?

062616

image

 

 

 


ses·qui·pe·da·li·an

ˌseskwəpəˈdālyən/
adjective

formal
adjective: sesquipedalian
  1. (of a word) polysyllabic; long.
    “sesquipedalian surnames”
    1. characterized by long words; long-winded.
      “the sesquipedalian prose of scientific journals”
trust-the-process

Trust the Process

I remembered the first time I tried hand lettering: I thought my lettering was good enough, I think it was okay, not pretty but acceptable to post in Instagram. But when I look back now, I just can’t look at my first lettering. I just can’t. It is one of my many regrets in life.

FB_IMG_1466654080318
This was my first publicized hand lettering. Yikes! -_-

I know, I know… it was not pretty. I don’t know how come I have the guts to post or even to try more. But Abbey Sy (a Filipino letterer and my inspiration), says, “Practice makes progress.” So I tried, I continue…

I’ve practiced a lot. I allotted most of my time lettering. Even at work, I have my watercolor, water brush and other art paraphernalia with me.

That shaky little hand. #moderncalligraphy #lettering #oneword #letters #watercolor #artlettering #typography

A photo posted by Julienne Rose Ramos (@lavli.rows) on

Do not neglect you talent. – 1 Timothy 4:14 #practicing #calligraphy #lettering #art #bibleverse #watercolor #waterbrush

A photo posted by Julienne Rose Ramos (@lavli.rows) on

Songs #practicing #calligraphy #lettering #art #music

A photo posted by Julienne Rose Ramos (@lavli.rows) on

#lettering #calligraphy #art #practice

A photo posted by Julienne Rose Ramos (@lavli.rows) on

Yung feeling mo ang ganda ganda yun pala hindi pa. #practicing #calligraphy #art #lettering

A photo posted by Julienne Rose Ramos (@lavli.rows) on

Don't just be good to others, be good to yourself too. #practice #waterbrush #watercolor #calligraphy #lettering #whileworking

A photo posted by Julienne Rose Ramos (@lavli.rows) on

 

I will admit, this is not in par of any letterer I follow in Instagram. Yet, I am happy to know that I am progressing. See the first photo in this entry… it’s a blah compared to the ones in the latter part.

Prior to this lettering mania I am now in, I once believed that PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. But I was wrong. Nothing is perfect in this world. So no, practice does not make you perfect or your craft. What practice does is make you progress, develop. It is better to say  PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS.

As much as I want to say that I am a pro, I came into a realization, that lettering is a long process. It is not an overnight process. It is not instant. Lettering is a process which I need to undergo to be better. Well, most of the things/circumstances here on earth is a process.

It took me couple of months or more than that to achieve these:

Every flower must grow through dirt. #mondaymantra #flatlay #calligraphy #lettering #art #watercolor #waterbrush

A photo posted by Julienne Rose Ramos (@lavli.rows) on

I know I have a lot of things to improve still. Sometimes, I feel too sluggish to continue because I just can’t seem to see any light compared to Abbey Sy. I mean she’s the goddess of lettering. And my lettering is such a mediocre one. But whatevs, I am still loving the progress, the process and the patience I learned through all these.

Abbey Sy always say, TRUST THE PROCESS. And, oh! The Bible also says that there is a proper time for everything (Ecclesiastes 8). So I trust that everything will fall into the right place at the right time. Just for now, I will trust the long process lettering is taking me.

And I am just so thankful that God has given me the gift of art.

Julienne


This post is written because I don’t have anything to blog.🙂