Borrowed Time

“Life is short.” I have heard this cliché many times; so many times that I have never imagined that it will hit home and it will hit home hard enough; so many times that I have never imagined that it would be literal as 6 days, 14 hours and 55 minutes of living.

It is already 9 days after my niece died (as of writing), but I still couldn’t comprehend how and why this little baby girl, innocent and full of potential, should suffer and feel the pain even adults couldn’t bear. Why in her young age, she should undergo angioplasty? How her young body could bear all the pain?

Life is very short for this young little girl. She hadn’t seen the world. From the day she was born, she was taken to the heart center for operation. 6 days in the ICU.  She didn’t see her mother; her mother didn’t have the chance to hug her.  September 21 was her first breath. September 28 was her last.

In times like this, I want to tell every person I meet that life is short; that they should not spend it YOLO-ing but instead make out of most of their time loving and caring for people; that they should not be selfish to flick a cigarette while others are dying from lack of oxygen; that they should learn to value their health; that time is of essence; your time spent more to one thing is a time you spent less to another; that life is too fragile to break it.

Seeing my niece (7 days old) inside the coffin was heart-breaking. It is as if imagining how she suffered greatly, how much pain she endured. I would like to ask God, not to whine, but to have a conversation, just to know His plans, just to know what’s going on in His mind, to be assured that this little angel is safe and sound to His loving arms.

“A man’s days are numbered. You know the number of his months. He cannot live longer than the time You have set. So now look away from him that he may rest, until he has lived the time set for him like a man paid to work.” – Job 14:15

Yien 10.07.16

Book of the Month: And Again by Jessica Chiarella

Hi again fellow bookworms! I am still guilty of not reading as much as I can. Yet, I have reasons why I haven’t read that much this September. And one of those I should have yet to tell you soon because it deserves another story. But mind you, it is a sad story.

It is already October but I have not yet disclosed my September’s pick. Without further ado, my September’s Book of the Month is And Again by Jessica Chiarella. It is all about 4 people and how an advance experiment change their lives forever.


Actually, it is a nice read with a good concept. It is about second chances; about living in a body without any mark of the past but only memories, and; about finding out that you are a stranger of your own body. However, it is not as mind-blowing as I expected it to be. But it has so many potentials.

What I like about this book is I can relate to it. I can feel the characters’ dilemma. Here are some quotes:

If only we could turn back time without ruining everything.
Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know. (*Frozen*)
It is what time does in a relationship, it can ruin it or make it flourish. But by this time, it is ruined.


My world had grown so small that the only thing left to do was to leave it.


Beauty is fleeting
When silence is deafening

Yes, that’s it. It’s October I haven’t finished any books yet! I am 2 books behind as scheduled.😦

Everyday – different, shifting and free


I still have to comprehend life (and death). I still have to organize my thoughts as they are racing in my mind. I still need to evaluate every emotions. Nothing is sinking in. Nothing makes sense. Does life make sense? Does it need to make sense? Or should I leave everything in oblivion? Leave it as unfathomable? Leave it as a case indifferent from others?

Right now, what I am sure of, life is like the sky: everyday – different, shifting and free.

“Don’t let go too soon, but don’t hold on too long.”
Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.”
John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“Every loss leaves a hole in your heart.”
Mitch Albom, The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto: A Novel

“There should be a statute of limitation on grief. A rulebook that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after 42 days you will no longer turn with your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name. That there will be no fine imposed if you feel the need to clean out her desk; take down her artwork from the refrigerator; turn over a school portrait as you pass – if only because it cuts you fresh again to see it. That it’s okay to measure the time she has been gone, the way we once measured her birthdays.”
Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

“Death doesn’t just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.”
Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

“The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”
Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

“It is only with practice what we learn to say goodbye.”
Martin Davies, The Unicorn Road

“When someone is in your heart, they’re never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.”
Mitch Albom, For One More Day

“It’s cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But know this; the ones that love us never really leave us.”

— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“The dream is ended- this is the morning.”
C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

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Everything in life is a series of choice. Whatever, whoever we are is the sum of the choices we’ve made.

This is not really a new realization but sometimes I need to remind myself that life is like that. We are our choices.

Most of the Time



Sometimes,  Most of the time, life does not make any sense. There are a lot of pain, suffering and unending war of self and others.  The only thing that makes sense right now is You and Your mightiness.

Life is also a blur at times. There are a lot of sparkle and brightness that seems right at that given time but seems to only lasts in that moment. The only guidance that last forever is Your light.

Most of the time, I don’t know what you are doing but what I know is You and who You are.

Yien 09.28.16


Brick in the Wall


There’s another brick in the wall, challenges that might scar and falter one’s faith. But just like the brick in the wall, being strong and unfazed is the only way to go; strengthened by hope, held by faith, and embraced by love.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Yien 09.27.16

What is Life About?


picture1Life is fragile. It can break us or make us. It can leave you without a warning or it stays until the fulfillment of our purpose. Life in itself is unfathomable. But what we are capable of knowing is that: life is short. So short it is that you and I should embrace and give it importance.

Be truthful but nice at the same time. Stop complaining, start doing. Pray and hope. Speak life. Don’t lie. Love people. Appreciate the sky and its ever moving and changing nature. Create beautiful things and beautify the world. Be kind and remember that everything you do has a ripple effect. Don’t worry. Stop bringing drama, start giving laughter and joy to someone. Inspire others.

Life is about relationship. It is never about material things. It is never about achievements. It is about how you smile when someone needs your smile. It is about helping others when someone loses hope. It is about you and me in this world, loving and caring one another, looking out for each other, taking time to talk to each other, taking time to appreciate everyone’s life.

Yien 09.26.16


Why Writing Down Your Goals Important?

Do yourself a favor and stop reading motivational quotes. Okay, I am not against motivational quotes, I love them actually. Success quotes give us hope and makes our thoughts positive. But reading and thinking is different from acting upon it. If you really want to succeed, make it tangible.

Get a paper and pen now! Yes paper and pen, not your tablet, not your iPhone but a paper and pen. Right down every goals, dreams and aspirations you can think of, even those seemingly impossible ones. MAKE IT TANGIBLE.

No, writing it down won’t make you successful and instantly reach your goals. Keyword: STEPS. In every goal you write down, write every step you think you need to do in order to fulfill that goal. PLAN IT because if not it may be just another unfulfilled goals. If you cannot think of steps, research. There are a lot of blogs that can help you to have a concrete plan.

Why write it down? Writing it down makes you accountable. Having everything tangible and visible makes it possible to do. Nothing can beat a concrete plan written on a paper. If you only store it in your brain chances are it may lose in the brim of information overflow. Make it possible by listing it down.

I believe when someone says,

“You are worthy of your dreams.”

But let me add something,

“You are only worthy of your dreams when you do something about it.”

Maybe this will be having a Part 2. But as for now, thank you for reading my post.

How to be Yours?

Dear You,

Life seems busy these days. I have my own priorities and responsibilities, and sadly, it seems it does not include You. It seems like I am slipping away. Yes, I am slipping away badly.

It was 2012, October to be exact when I said yes to You. It was a good feeling. It was like starting to read a much hyped and awaited novel, all the feels of every word as I touch each page. I promised to never forget the story, the names of the character, the quotes. It was serene, exciting and overwhelming all at once. My heart was focused. I want You. I want You badly. And that day, You made me feel that You wanted me badly and I was the apple of Your eyes too. But like all the novels read, even how much I loved the story line, the characters, and the feels, once I am in the real world and years passed by doing what I am supposed to be doing, the story begins to blur.

Our relationship takes its turn to blur. I know it’s me. And it’s me all along. Trusting anyone besides myself is not an easy task. And for me to trust You with my whole heart is a huge challenge for me. Let alone Someone whom I cannot see. You said, “talk to Me.” But there are days when I feel talking to you is a chore. When You wanted me close to You, “I said no.” I have never been this close to anyone. And I set many conditions. It’s like I am haggling in the market for a kilo of fish.

I know this relationship is not about me, it is never about me. But the prideful me would like to think it is all about me.

Maybe the long-distance relationship is not for me. You are there and I am down here. Even Your voice seems too difficult to hear. What I wanted all along is to hear Your voice clearly, to feel You deeply, to see You eye-to-eye and for You to tell me Your plans. But life seems to interfere. Without You being tangible in my life made me doubt and feel worthless. It made me feel unlovable, ugly and mean.

Or maybe, I am not used to Someone who would call me “Mine.” I am not used to Someone whose eyes are set on me. I am not used to Someone who would think of me first before Himself. I am not used to Someone who would only ask me for my whole heart and nothing else. I am not used to Someone who sees all the uglies in my life but still chooses to be with me. Because to be honest, I cannot do those things for You. I am not capable of selfless love. I am not capable doing what You could do. What I am capable of is being the same old me. I AM NOT USED TO SOMEONE LOVING ME.

I am not used to that thing called love. I am not used to being owned by someone. But still, You call me “Mine.”

And I wanted our relationship to flourish. I would like to utter the same words You are telling me. I wanted to be Yours and Yours alone… O Lord, I want to be Yours. Tell me… Lord, how to be Yours?

Your stubborn child,






Book of the Month: Wonder by R.J. Palacio


This season was such a not good season for reading. I have many valid reasons why I haven’t read that much. However, I think you all know my reasons, that never-ending “LIFE HAPPENS.” Luckily, I got the chance to read a light and heart-warming novel of R.J. Palacio. At first, I felt like not reading it… since the story line seems childish. But who am I fooling? I love children’s book. So for this month, I read Wonder by R.J. Palacio.

Wonder is about a boy named Auggie who has facial deformity (I think that word is such a light word for his illness) and how he brave the world full of judgmental and critical people.

I can’t say that Wonder has a great and complex story compared to other stories about illnesses, disorders and disabilities. But it brought me to the core, the heart of someone who is different which where other stories seems to falter. Its sincerity and realness are the main reasons why I loved it. And this light read is what I needed right now after a month of reading hiatus.

After reading the book, I came to realize many things. Wonder allows me to see the beauty of the world despite of its share of ugliness. A book that will let you see pass through the physical and let you see the soul, its beauty and its kindness. The kind of book that can touch one’s heart because of its rawness and Auggie’s somewhat innocent but the realest of heart.

And these quotable quotes really struck me while reading Wonder:

“If every person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary – the world really would be a better place. And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God.”

This world will be a nicer place indeed!



Choose kindness!

“no, no, it’s not all random, if it really was all random, the universe would abandon us completely. and the universe doesn’t. it takes care of its most fragile creations in ways we can’t see. like with parents who adore you blindly. and a big sister who feels guilty for being human over you. and a little gravelly-voiced kid whose friends have left him over you. and even a pink-haired girl who carries your picture in her wallet. maybe it is a lottery, but the universe makes it all even out in the end. the universe takes care of all its birds.”

Nothing is an accident!

“It’s what you’ve done with your time, how you’ve chosen to spend your days, and whom you’ve touched this year. That, to me, is the greatest measure of success.”

You can change the world one person at a time.


I think that’s it! That’s August Book of the Month. Oh! This is such a coincidence… Auggie’s real name is August!🙂

Yien 082516